As far back as I can recollect, I've been called "bossy", "mean", "dramatic", and "sarcastic". Those words seemed singled out by my childhood guy friends as words specifically for me. Now I know, those words actually meant that I had "leadership skills", "authority a woman shouldn't have", "the power to express my emotions as an individual", and "humor".
The words hurt. As I grew up, I began to realize that I wasn't the only one facing the humiliation. Many others, almost all women, face the disasters of being pinned as something they are not. Little girls, especially, will be classically conditioned to stop telling jokes and trying to be a leader after being mocked for their actions. In fact, today's society has recognized this diffidence and prominent female CEO's (such as Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook) of companies have started a campaign called Ban Bossy to remove the word bossy from society's vocabularies and promote self confidence within young girls.
A brief overview of Ban Bossy: http://banbossy.com/
So does the cliche, "Better safe than sorry" work? No. I think no matter what we do as women we will be compromised on every nook and turn. By keeping quiet, like many girls do, we restrict our own creativity. Society shouldn't be able to define our genuine comedy as satirical. For example in Deborah Tanner's piece There Is No Unmarked Woman, she identifies a common woman as being marked for her appearance and actions even when they appear to be acceptable to society. The point is, if all women are inevitably marked, there is no reason to be "safe" if in the end we all end up being "sorry.
Some women have accomplished great feats by stepping outside their "safe" boxes. They break the stereotype that "Women are Ice Queens", meaning we are harsh and passive to the world.
Ellen Degeneres, for example, is one such comedian. Very renowned for her work, Ellen shows her skill, as one of the funniest people I know, and proves that women are not cold towards others.
She even explains in the video (above) that women are more conversational than men (and does so in a way that makes us laugh :P). The fact did shock me but it seems true. We are more conversational, but we tend to become reserved as soon as we are put down by society for being so loquacious.
So next time, men, when proceeding to call a woman bossy, rethink the situation and ponder why she behaves in such a way. Most likely, it is because she has to carry the burdens of stereotypes that society throws on her.
The words hurt. As I grew up, I began to realize that I wasn't the only one facing the humiliation. Many others, almost all women, face the disasters of being pinned as something they are not. Little girls, especially, will be classically conditioned to stop telling jokes and trying to be a leader after being mocked for their actions. In fact, today's society has recognized this diffidence and prominent female CEO's (such as Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook) of companies have started a campaign called Ban Bossy to remove the word bossy from society's vocabularies and promote self confidence within young girls.
A brief overview of Ban Bossy: http://banbossy.com/
So does the cliche, "Better safe than sorry" work? No. I think no matter what we do as women we will be compromised on every nook and turn. By keeping quiet, like many girls do, we restrict our own creativity. Society shouldn't be able to define our genuine comedy as satirical. For example in Deborah Tanner's piece There Is No Unmarked Woman, she identifies a common woman as being marked for her appearance and actions even when they appear to be acceptable to society. The point is, if all women are inevitably marked, there is no reason to be "safe" if in the end we all end up being "sorry.
Some women have accomplished great feats by stepping outside their "safe" boxes. They break the stereotype that "Women are Ice Queens", meaning we are harsh and passive to the world.
Ellen Degeneres, for example, is one such comedian. Very renowned for her work, Ellen shows her skill, as one of the funniest people I know, and proves that women are not cold towards others.
So next time, men, when proceeding to call a woman bossy, rethink the situation and ponder why she behaves in such a way. Most likely, it is because she has to carry the burdens of stereotypes that society throws on her.
Ananya, oh god, i thought i was the only one feeling that way because i've been called that too! Along with "weird", "stuck up" and most definitely and always "bossy" or "controlling" around my guy friends. I used to let those comment bother me up until seventh grade, and I would always try to control my urges to be that way. Then i realised i had nothing to hold back. Its my collaborative, and authoritative skills that are being displayed and there is nothing wrong with that! You go girl! :)
ReplyDeleteCompelling article - I m impressed!!
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